Monday, August 22, 2016

You Keep Us Adventuring, I'll Keep You Safe


Dear Kiddo,

Today, we took a hike in the woods.  You hopped over rocks and explored the winding path. You picked me a bouquet. A small collection of leaves and sticks. And you presented it to me with a big smile, "Here, Mommy, I picked this for you."

I yelped "Yikes! Drop it!" and started to hurriedly move us towards the bathroom (the second of what would be four visits).

The bouquet was composed of big, shiny poison ivy leaves. You had been twirling, caressing, arranging those leaves. A gift for me.

You were complained, questioned, dragged your feet. I finally captured you and then scrubbed and scrubbed, praying that the plant oils hadn't spread to any other parts of your little person.

I want you to know that it's my job to keep you safe. I will do whatever I can to keep you safe. My mommy quoted me this passage by Elizabeth Stone when you were a newborn,
"Making the decision to have a child - it is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body." 
This might sound cheeseball to you, but it's true.

You are out to explore the world with vigor and vim, woe to the mommy that tries to stop you! You are my perpetual gerund, always moving, leaping, hopping, skipping. I love your curiosity and careful eye, how you notice the woodpecker holes and the caterpillar on the path. I see your sweetness, your smile, and how you find me special rocks or flowers (or poison ivy).

You're my wild man; I'll be your steady rock. You keep us adventuring; I'll keep you safe. You explore the ranges of your emotions; I'll be your compass and guide. Together, we'll find a way to be wild and free, safe and loved.

"i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)"  - E. E. Cummings



Friday, August 19, 2016

The Bravest Prayer I Know

The Bravest Prayer

All prayer is brave. We have the audacity to address the Lord of the Universe, to call Him Abba, Daddy. We leap into our Daddy's arms and renew this Covenant of love at every mass. Last Sunday, a dear friend gave a homily about how we are called to be true spiritual Olympiads. We have to train constantly to be ready for a the final test. We must develop our prayer life and virtues slowly, growing in spiritual muscle. I don't know about you, but I'm not too comfortable in a gym. 

The Litany of Humility is prayerful weightlifting. It's the hardest prayer I know. It's one of those you pray to be able to pray better. The author Cardinal Merry Del Val is now a Servant of God, on his way to being canonized a saint. He prayed this prayer daily after each mass. 

This prayer stretches my own desires upwards, away from myself, turns my focus away from myself and my own worries. 
"He must increase; I must decrease" (John 3:30)
What would my life look like if I didn't worry about what others thought but only lived for Jesus? What if I were free from all fear? Can I honestly add that someone who is especially challenging to be with at the end of each of the lines? I'll be honest, the thought is... hard. I still have a lot of time to put in the spiritual gym! Seriously, this is the bravest prayer I know.
"Not my will, but yours be done," (Luke 22:42)
The Litany of Humility by Rafael Cardinal Merry del Val

O Jesus! meek and humble of heart, Hear me.
From the desire of being esteemed,
Deliver me, Jesus (repeat after each line).
From the desire of being extolled ...
From the desire of being honored ...
From the desire of being praised ...
From the desire of being preferred to others...
From the desire of being consulted ...
From the desire of being approved ...
From the fear of being humiliated ...
From the fear of being despised...
From the fear of suffering rebukes ...
From the fear of being calumniated ...
From the fear of being forgotten ...
From the fear of being ridiculed ...
From the fear of being wronged ...
From the fear of being suspected ...


That, in the opinion of the world,
others may increase and I may decrease

Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it (repeat after each line).
That others may be chosen and I set aside ...
That others may be praised and I unnoticed ...
That others may be preferred to me in everything...
That others may become holier than I, provided that I may become as holy as I should…

From the desire of being loved...
That others may be loved more than I,
That others may be esteemed more than I ...




Danielle Rose wrote a beautiful musical adaption here if you wish to pray through song. 

"For freedom, Christ set us free; so stand firm and do not submit again to the yoke of slavery" (Galations 5:1). This prayer is for me all the things I didn't know to pray for, all the secret places I need grace so desperately. So that's what I'm praying. I'm praying to be set free. And it's scary. Prayer is for the brave-hearted, those walking the road of grace by faith. 

What is your brave prayer?